Voldemort's Theme
by ezrajade
Summary: Yep-another, pointless little parody. WE found it funny, but hey, nobody said we were sane now, did they? Please read and reply!


Disclaimer: Ya see, I own absolutely squat. That's why it's called a FANfic. The only thing I lay claims to is my lucky handy-dandy sweater; you can sue me for it, but I doubt you'll win. Anyway. . .  
  
Authors' Note: This fic was created by EzraJade and Amy Potter 13 and was completely devised by our warped, twisted minds, so if it resembles your fic at all, we apologize for amazing coincidences. Please read and reply: do you think should we make any more?  
  
...........  
  
Harry groggily opened his eyes. For a second, he couldn't distinguish any difference between having his eyes shut or open. Then he was aware of a shadowy figure in the gloom.  
  
"So, finally awake Harry?" A chilling voice inquired. Harry's scar started to burn and Harry felt a wave of nausea. "We meet yet again young Harry," Voldemort said.  
  
"Yeah," Harry muttered, "For the fifth time." He attempted to pull apart his hands and feet and found them tied fast.  
  
Voldemort didn't seem to hear Harry's comment "This time, there's no one to come and rescue you," he continued in an evil tone. "You're awfully quiet tonight Harry. Isn't there anything you'd like to say?"  
  
"Bite. Me." Harry hissed.  
  
Voldemort laughed "Well, someone's not very happy tonight! But tonight I've devised a new torture for your enjoyment!"  
  
Harry squeezed his eyes shut and waited for some kind of impact. Instead, he heard some soft slow music. It built up slowly, but it was very similar to the muggle song YMCA. Harry opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. To his utter amazement and bafflement, Voldemort started to sing.  
  
.  
  
You thought  
  
You could escape my wrath  
  
That you  
  
Could stray from my path  
  
Albus  
  
Couldn't keep you from me  
  
Anything  
  
You do I see  
  
And now  
  
You. Can't. Run.  
  
.  
  
Harry watched in amazement as Voldemort pulled a microphone out of mid- air. The music was quicker and catchier now.  
  
.  
  
You know I'm sayin' that  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
You always knew that  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
You can't escape  
  
No, you can't get away  
  
and I'm live-ing high  
  
.  
  
Harry's mouth dropped open slightly as Voldemort paused to strip off robe to reveal a one-piece, sky-blue polyester suit.  
  
.  
  
Harry-  
  
You thought you were strong  
  
But I  
  
Knew you were wrong  
  
Now I  
  
Will prove it to you  
  
And these games will be through So now  
  
Just. Sit. Tight.  
  
.  
  
You know I'm saying  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
You always knew that  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
You can't escape  
  
No, you can't get away  
  
And I'm live-ing high  
  
.  
  
Death  
  
Is inevitable  
  
Yours  
  
Is inescapable  
  
Why?  
  
'Cause I'm really bad  
  
Dumbledore  
  
Will be sad  
  
How  
  
Sweet. Is. Success.  
  
.  
  
You know I'm sayin'  
  
I'm gonna kill you,  
  
You always knew that  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
You can't escape  
  
No, you can't get away  
  
And I'm live-ing high  
  
.  
  
The music changed into a disco theme and Harry shielded his eyes as flashing rainbow lights spun around the walls. To his complete bemusement, Voldemort dropped to the ground and began to spin on his head. He continued to break dance for several minutes with amazing agility before he leapt up, covered in sweat and broke into song again.  
  
.  
  
Revenge  
  
Will be mine  
  
Never  
  
Has a day been so fine  
  
At last  
  
My waits at an end  
  
To my  
  
Will you will bend  
  
And I've  
  
Waited. So. Long.  
  
.  
  
You know I'm sayin'  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
You always knew that  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
There's no escape  
  
No, you can't get away  
  
And I'm live-ing high.  
  
.  
  
You know I'm sayin'  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
You always knew that  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
There's no escape  
  
No, you can't get away  
  
And I'm live-ing high.  
  
.  
  
Sing it with me guys!  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
Can I hear the girls?  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
One more time!  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
I'm gonna kill you  
  
I'm gonna kill you. . .  
  
.  
  
With a triumphant final drum slam, the music ended. "Thank you, thank you very much!" Voldemort cried aloud. He turned on the spot, his arms raised like a champion. He turned to Harry "Sorry, I get a little carried away. . ." The words died on his lips.  
  
Harry was gone. All that was left was a bundle of ropes and two pairs of dusty footprints that led out the door.  
  
Voldemort was silent for a second before he burst out in anger "Every time!" he yelled "Every dang time!" He threw the mic onto the floor and began jumping on it. Then he angrily strode out of the room and slammed the door.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . .  
  
I hope you enjoyed my little story. I really have to thank Amy Potter and Elf for my inspiration. I think that it's enlightening to look at the bad guys in our lives in a hilarious circumstances. Please reply if you like this song and tell me if you like it. Well, here's to dancing Elves and SPAM. Buh-Bye!  
  
~Ezra~ 


End file.
